Write2Ignite

Characters Are Like Children

As writers, we tend to fall in love with our characters. And we should. They are our word children. Just like parents, we treasure our children. We love them. We want the absolute best for them.

All the time.

Nothing should ever happen to them.

And… this is unhealthy and boring.

Who wants to read about a character where nothing happens? Their story ends before it begins.

Becoming Their Own Person

Of course, as real parents we want to keep our children safe. Yet, we also want them to learn and grow, to interact with the world, and to learn to be their own people. That means letting them make mistakes and work out the consequences. It means being available but also watching to see what they’ll do and think on their own.

Just like in parenting actual children, our characters don’t like it when we hover and tell them what to do without experiencing it for themselves. Readers don’t like it either.

7 Tips for Character Parenting

So how do we keep from over-protecting our characters and making them bland?

1. Let them make the wrong choices.

Our characters aren’t going to have any type of self-improvement or character development by the end of the story if they always make the right choice. Do our kids always make the right choice? No. Neither do I. We must let our characters fail. It makes them relatable.

2. Don’t baby them!

Even young characters need not be talked down to. Recognize the milestones they’ve hit and don’t take them backward…unless it’s necessary for the plot—like a regression to show how they handle conflict.

3. Let them solve their own problems.

My earliest manuscripts were written when my kids were babies. So, when I started writing a middle grade novel, my critique buddy had to call me out. “The mom in this story keeps rescuing the main character. Let the kid solve her own problems.” She was right!! What eight through twelve-year-old wants their mom to come tie their shoes? AWKWARD! (Don’t worry, I didn’t actually do that.

4. Give them obstacles.

As a mom or dad, it’s hard to see our kids struggle. Yet, we must let them navigate their obstacles. They will fail at some. They will succeed with others. Let them. And…

5. Let them decide at which obstacles they will succeed.

Why should the character decide this? It shows they have agency. It also reveals what is important to them, unveiling their drive and purpose, without just telling the reader point by point. This is showing versus telling.

6. Let them have feelings you don’t agree with.

Our characters need to have emotions to show what kind of person they are. Do they get angry at a particular cause? Frustrated if they don’t always get their way? Celebrate when another character is successful? Cheer on others? Hopefully we wouldn’t disagree with the last two statements, but what if they cheer for the wrong person? Help the bad guy? Get excited by attention from the wrong person?

7. Let them be their own person.

We can’t make them a copycat of us or anyone we know. (Unless it’s a memoir or nonfiction.) Let your character decide what they like and don’t like, how they spend their time, and how they handle a problem. Add appropriate reinforcement when necessary.

Healthy Love

Usually when we let go and let our characters fail, try again, make messes, create goals, etc. we discover the same thing we discover with our own children…they’re going to be okay. More than okay. They are stronger, aligned to their purpose, and in touch with their feelings.

And that leaves us loving our characters in a healthy way!

Marci Whitehurst is a former educator, theater and speech coach, a children’s author, rancher’s wife, and mother of three who lives on a cattle ranch in Montana. Her passion is sharing His Light and Life with a wounded world through stories, poems, and blog posts. She blogs about connecting with the kid inside all of us at www.marciwhitehurst.subtack.com. She can also be reached through her website at www.marciwhitehurst.com. Find her on X(Twitter) at @marciwhitehurst and on instagram @marci_whitehurst.