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“The Village of Gorgenon, near Alphigaz, floated above the Hoovah as the Pinkletons swam by. As long ago as eleventy Kikes, had the Moopahs overtaken the Quillerton valley. And now, seventeen-five Kikes later, Cocoyaks were bubbling under the surface.”

Before you google who wrote that awful opening line, I’ll confess: it was me. I made it up on the spot. If you find yourself mumbling through these weird names and losing track of the sentence, you’re not alone. I have picked up and promptly placed back down, many a fantasy book because of the opening. Opening scenes are the most important part of your book. Sure, the book cover and blurb on the back might get a reader’s attention, but the rubber meets the road when your first paragraph is read. So, let’s look at how not to write the opening scene of your fantasy book.

Let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start

Starting a book, especially a fantasy book, is difficult. Sure, you have iconic openings like “Once upon a time…” and “A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…” But these are just lines, not opening scenes. Even if you can somehow master an opening paragraph like J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit, it eventually has to unfold into an entire scene. There are dozens, if not over a hundred ways to open your story. But perhaps only five will work. Take another look at my opening. It means nothing to the reader because the reader has no clue what in the blue blazes I am even talking about.

My first mistake is the easiest to make in a fantasy story: too much information that the reader does not care about. As you write your fantasy novel, you will want to build your story world and describe the landscape, the language, the government structure, agriculture, language, religion, and culture. And though it is tempting to say all of this at the beginning, it is death by boredom to the reader. Just like a friend who keeps pausing a movie in the first few minutes to give you lots of unnecessary backstory of why this movie is amazing, you do not want to do the same thing to your reader. If you have to pause the story already, then you are not at the beginning.

Start with the who, not the what

As you can see in my opening, there isn’t even a character. We are looking at things from a confusing backstory that gives us no hero to root for, and no world that makes sense to us. So, we must start with our hero. Or villain. Or sidekick. We could even start with the death of a person. But it has to start with someone. I do not care how weird your fantasy idea is, give us one character (animal, vegetable, or mineral) on which we can focus.

The only way you can reel me into a story is by giving me somebody to experience this world through. Whether that is a Lucy Pevensie, a Percy Jackson, or a Bilbo Baggins, I must know who I am reading about before I find out what I am reading about. Once you have your character chosen for the opening, it is time to ask the important question.

Why Today?

One of the best pieces of writing advice I ever received came from Issa Rae in her MasterClass. Every time she tried to pitch a TV show to a network, she found that the executives would ask her the same question: “Why today?” as in, why are we dropping onto this character today? What makes today so special? If the catalyst happens next week, or two days from now, why would you write the opening scene to your fantasy book today? I am struggling with this as I begin to write my middle-grade fantasy novel. The working title is “Pirated!” and the basic premise is this:

“When their parents tell them they cannot watch the new PG-13 movie X Marks the Spot: Eye for an Eye, 12-year-olds T.J. Simmons and Heath Marble hatch a plot to illegally download the movie from the internet. But when the file is accidentally sent to a next-generation printer at the robotics factory run by Heath’s father, the boys have a walking, talking pirate robot to hide. Keeping this secret is going to be very hard!”

Sounds exciting, but every opening I tried was boring. I kept imagining a kid picking up my book with the cool cover, reading that intriguing premise, and then being disappointed by the opening. I thought the most logical place to open was T.J. impatiently waiting while his parents read the content review of the movie online. Their decision means either victory (he gets to watch the PG-13 movie in theaters!) or defeat (he will miss out on the greatest movie ever made!) for my character. But I was missing one important thing: a kid waiting for his parents to read an online movie review is not the exciting opening the reader wants. So where do I begin the story?

Open with a bang or a clash!

I thought about opening with the description of the previous X Marks the Spot movie, but that would be confusing because my story is told in T.J.’s voice. How could I open with a bang? Then it hit me: a sword fight!

T.J. and Heath are sword fighting in T.J.’s backyard, reenacting the previous X Marks the Spot movie while they wait for their parents inside the house to decide whether or not they can see the new movie. I open with action, while still establishing the main goals of the two boys (watching the movie in theaters) and the obstacle (they need their parent’s approval).

I am still working on the opening, and perhaps I will change it in a rewrite, but for now, it ticks all the boxes for me. It is exciting, character-based, and does not try to explain anything about 3D printers, robots, or torrent files. It is just two boys playing in the backyard, hoping their parents see themselves as the grownups they think they have become. If I write my opening scene to my fantasy book this way, it helps set the stage for an exciting story without bogging down the reader.

P.S.
We are having a fantasy MasterClass with Amy Earls this April

What is the opening for your fantasy WIP? Let me know in the comments below!

Just like his two older brothers, Kyle Morgan was homeschooled from Kindergarten through High School. When he is not busy writing, the next classic children’s book, Kyle loves spending time with his family, all things baseball, and watching black and white movies. He is a monthly contributor to Write2Ignite where he blogs about writing for children. His work has appeared in The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, The Caldwell Perspective and StarLight Magazine. You can check out his Facebook page or follow him on Instagram.